belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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