Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
