Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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