I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
