Sponge bath it is.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
