So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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