"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
