watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
