Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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