you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
