Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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