cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
