he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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