My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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