Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize