Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
