it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize