belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
