wat bout pragnant strippers??
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize