awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize