Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
