I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
