Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
