The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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