ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm at about main and main street
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
