i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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