Midget sex pt 2 tonight
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize