funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
