if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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