shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
