Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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