why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
