Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
