Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
