ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize