I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
