So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
