I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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