Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
