you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
