dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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