Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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