bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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