i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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