That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
