I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
