Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
