he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
