I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
