dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
