Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
