i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My bed smells like the plague
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
