My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
