I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
