HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
