summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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