You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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