Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
