Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
