i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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